Always Come Back
by liztits
Summary: We've been though a lot, haven't we? But it's been a good ride. /A journey through Shepard and Liara's relationship, from the beginning. A prequel to the ASVerse.


**Hello angelmuffins. **  
**I recommend reading "The End" by me before reading this, although you don't need too, because this story is an extension that story. It's gonna be a three parter, and hopefully they'll all be this long, although I promise nothing. **  
**As always, I thank you for reading, and I hope that you enjoy it enough to leave me a cheeky review. **

**(someone did a poo on the floor in my house today. Think about that.)**

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"Can you hear me out there? I'm trapped! I need help!"  
On the grand scheme of things, it wasn't the most romantic of meetings. Sure, there's the whole damsel in distress thing, but when the damsel has biotics that could rip you in two, and is floating in a giant bubble, romance is definitely the last thing on your mind.

"Are you okay? What happened to you?" You're on Therum, a roasting hot planet nestled in the Artemis Tau cluster. And you're god knows how far underground in a Prothean Ruin. They give you the creeps now. They hadn't always, but after Eden Prime you've become suspicious of them. You reach out and tap the barrier in front of you, feeling the gentle pulse of the field resisting you.  
"Listen, this thing I'm in is a Prothean security device. I cannot move, so I need you to get me out of it, alright?" The asari, Liara, wiggles her fingers a little as if to demonstrate her lack of mobility.  
After she explains how she was trapped in the device, Ashley stifles a giggle, not that you can blame her, and you set about letting her out.  
A mining laser and a fight with a Krogan later and you're safely back on the SSV Normandy, your ship. Saying she's your ship still feels foreign, and you can still feel Anderson ghosting over your shoulder, but you don't mention it. You're the Commander, you have to put on a brave face for the crew, and carry on with business like you feel you're capable of being in charge of this mission, and this ship.  
"We almost died out there and your pilot is making jokes?" Liara pipes up from her seat in the debriefing room.  
You have no idea what Joker's been saying, too lost in your own thoughts, but you don't admit it. "He pulled our asses out of there, I think he's earned the rights to a few bad jokes."  
"I see…" She trails off slightly, eyebrows furrowing in thought. "It must be a human thing." She has weird markings for an asari. Eyebrows like a human. You've never seen that before, not that you've had a lot of experience with them. She's the cutest one you've seen though, you muse, while watching the way the smattering of freckle like markings on her nose crinkle slightly when she talks. "I don't have a lot of experience dealing with your species, Commander. But I'm grateful to you, you saved my life back there, and not just from the volcano." She looks upset for a moment. "Those geth would've killed me. Or dragged me off to Saren."

"What did Saren want with you? Do you know something about the Conduit?" Ah, Kaidan. All the subtly of a bull in a china shop. Couldn't have eased that into the conversation, could you?  
"Only that it was somehow connected to the Prothean extinction." She shifts uncomfortably in her chair under the scrutiny of the rest of the crew. "That is my real area of expertise. I've spent the past 50 years trying to understand them."  
Fifty years? You open your mouth before you can stop yourself. "Just how old are you, exactly?"  
"I hate to admit it, but I am only 106." Only? You're 29, for Pete's sake! She's older than everyone in the room, with the exception of Wrex, who still won't disclose his actual age to you.  
"Damn! I hope I look that good when I'm your age!" If Ashley and Kaidan have anything in common, it's their brilliant tact. You role your eyes as Liara continues to speak.  
"A century may seem like a long time to a short-lived species like yours, but among the asari I am barely considered more than a child." A child? How does asari biology even work? Suddenly a small part of you starts to feel unbelievably weird about the fact you find her attractive.  
She's still more than half a century older than you though, so you let it slide. She's still talking about Protheans.  
"I've got my own theory on why the Protheans disappeared." You tell her, arms still crossed tightly across your chest.  
"With all due respect Commander, I've heard every theory out there. The problem is finding evidence to support them, the Protheans left remarkably little behind. It is almost as if someone did not want the mystery solved. It's like someone came along after the Protheans were gone and cleansed the galaxy of clues." She carries on, and you're half listening but it's so hard to concentrate on what she's saying. You've never met someone who can talk so much about something that happened so long ago.  
She's cocky, confident in her knowledge of the Protheans, and her eyes light up in a way you've not seen for a long time when she talks about them. It's almost as if the shy, awkward asari you found an hour ago has taken a back seat here.  
"They were wiped out by a race of sentient machines." I tell her when she's finished talking. "The Reapers." The words sound silly leaving my mouth, but I know it's true.  
"The Reapers?" She questions. "But I've never heard… How do you know this?" She almost sounds affronted by the fact you know more than she does. "What evidence do you have?"  
"There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime." Really damaged, you think to yourself, the headache from the visions still throbbing behind your eyelids. "It burned a vision into my brain. I'm still trying to sort out what it all means."  
"Visions?" She looks to be considering the options before she talks again. "Yes, that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user! Finding one that still works is extremely rare. No wonder the geth attacked Eden Prime!"  
She explains to you why the vision is so jumbled, and gives you a little insight into why the damn thing is giving you headaches that could drop an Elcor. "You must be remarkably strong willed, Commander." She sounds almost admiring with the last sentence.  
Kaidan, on the other hand, sounds jealous. "This isn't helping us find Saren, or the Conduit!"  
She quickly backtracks, apologising again for not knowing what we needed to know, before you insist on keeping her onboard. She knows more about the Protheans than all of the human race combined, and you know you'll need her if you ever want to catch Saren.  
She stands up and moves towards you, thanking you for letting her remain on the ship, before she stumbles slightly, hand moving to grasp at her forehead.  
"When was the last time you ate anything? Or slept?" Kaidan asks, still sounding a little bit too aggressive. "Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you."  
"It's probably just mental exhaustion." She rambles off a list of reasons to follow that, before leaving the room in the direction of the medbay. You still have a lot of questions, some important, like why Liara's mother has allied herself with Saren, and some ridiculous, like how do the asari hear if they have no ears?  
You watch her leave and resign yourself to visiting her later to ask her your questions. Maybe not the one about the ears, you'll do a search for that on the extranet.

You do visit her later, and she tells you about her mother, and her work with the Protheans. She's fascinating, and you find yourself making excuses to spend more and more time with her.  
She's holed herself up in the office behind the medbay, working on stuff you'll never really understand no matter how many times she explains it, but you still turn up, almost every evening, asking about this and that, listening to things that make about as much sense as they would if your translator stopped working and you had to listen to the entire thing in asari.  
Sometimes she stumbles over her words, or says the wrong thing before trying to back track, and her cheeks flush pale purple in a way that you can't find yourself mad at what she's said. You know she hasn't meant it.  
It's comfortable, perched on the edge of her desk, watching her work and listening to the quiet hum of the machines.  
You're back in the office again, later on one night, when Liara admits she looked you up. She admits that she found you fascinating, and she didn't want you to think she was a complete fool if she embarrassed herself. You're flattered that she's put that much effort into learning about you, and you can't help the smile that spreads across your face when she finishes talking.  
"I thought there might have already been a relationship between you and Lt. Alenko." Your smile falters a little and you sigh inwardly. Not the first person to assume that. You can't figure out why, you've been nothing but professional towards the Lieutenant, yet people still think you're with him. You've seen the way he looks at you when you cross the crew deck though. You've tried to make it clear, mentioned ex-girlfriends and even your encounter with the Consort on the Citadel but his eyes still trail after you. You want to be his friend, he's a good man and a powerful soldier, but that's as far as it goes with him.  
"Kaidan is a good friend. But you're right, there is something between us."  
"I knew it!" Liara seems almost excited at the prospect, like it's another big mystery she's just deduced. "I knew you felt it too! But… Does this not seem rather strange? Why do I feel so close to you? We've only known each other a short time, we're from two different species! We have almost nothing in common. This makes no sense."  
You take a step forward, locking eyes with her. "Quit thinking like a scientist." You tell her gently, "Logic doesn't work when it comes to relationships." You smile a little. "Let yourself get swept up in the storm."  
"You make it sound so chaotic. So dangerous."  
"Don't tell me a little danger puts you off?"  
"This is all a bit overwhelming. I am not used to this…" You swear you see the corner of her mouth tug up slightly. "You." She sighs. "I need some time."  
"Take all the time you need Liara." You turn, heading towards the door. "I'll be here."

And you are there, when she needs you. When you fight Benezia, ultimately having to kill her, you find Liara afterwards in the cargo bay, slumped down between some unused crates. It's quiet down here, the only noise the quiet hum of the drive core from the floor below.  
You don't say anything, and neither does she, so you wedge yourself the crates and slide down to the ground, taking her hand in yours.  
You sit quietly for a long time, until you hear a sniffle, followed by a sob, and then she's crying in your arms, clutching at the fabric of your shirt and staining it with tears. You let her cry, rubbing her back and whispering nothing in particular until she calms down.  
She tries to apologise later, but you don't let her. She has the right to cry, to mourn. You tell her about your family, about Mindoir. The first person you've ever spoken to about it since the Alliance dragged you out of hell and sent you to a training facility. You let her know that it's okay, that you understand, and somehow, when you part ways outside your door later that evening, you feel better than you have done in years. Less alone.

You carry on your visits to Liara in the medbays office while you chase Saren halfway across the galaxy. Then you get a message. You don't know it now, but it's going to change your entire life. It's going to change you in ways you didn't even think were possible.

Saren's on Virmire, breeding an Army. Krogan. Later on, after this, on Korlus, a warlord calls them a "pale horde." Not true Krogan. But they're cured of the genophage.  
When you realise that you'll have to destroy the facility to wipe them out, Wrex is outraged, but he calms down, realises that Saren's way is wrong. He helps you fight through the base, and he's there when you talk to Sovereign, the Reaper.  
He's there when you have to make the hardest decision of your life, too. Kaidan activates the bomb you've taken to destroy the facility, fearing he'll be overrun with geth. You don't have the time, you can't save both of your Alliance squadmates. They make you choose.  
You choose Ashley, remembering tales of her family back on earth, her little sisters and her mother. Trying to break the legacy left under her grandfathers name. She's young, she deserves the chance. Not that Kaidan doesn't. He dies hero, and as the Normandy leaves Feros, your heart and your head feel heavy. You're tired, so tired of chasing Saren, tired of losing good people in a fight that you didn't ask to be involved in.  
A call comes in, demanding you return to the Citadel, and as you punch in the co-ordinates, you laugh. There's really no such thing as a routine mission, is there?

They ground you. Part of you wants to scream at the injustice of it all, and part of you wants to smash Udina's face to a pulp. You leave without saying a word, and when Liara finds you, you're next to your locker, rooting around for something you're not even sure was there to start with. You can't close your eyes, images of Kaidan plaguing you whenever you do. Later, when this is over, you write to his mother, tell her how her son died and hero, and the entire galaxy owes them their lives. Now, though, you feel hollow.  
You slump to the ground, casting your eyes up to look at the asari.  
"Commander!" She sounds distressed. You probably look distressing, defeat written across your features. Your entire being hurts. "Shepard. Amy." She sighs. "I cannot believe they did this to you. I am so sorry."  
"It's not your fault." You shake your head bitterly.  
"It's not right! You did everything they asked and more! Nobody else could've done what you did!" She paces in front of you slightly, arms flailing in time with her speech. "The council owes you everything!" You've never seen her angry before. Not after Noveria, or even Therum. It's bizarre, and, not that you'd ever admit it, a little frightening. "Instead they strip you of your command! And ground the Normandy" The outrage in her voice is clear.  
"I don't care if they ground me." Liara's anger mirrors your own now. "But they refuse to go after Saren! If they don't stop him from finding the Conduit, we're all dead!" And Kaidan died for nothing, you add on slightly, anger still rising.  
The logical side of Liara comes out here, "Perhaps we could appeal?" She's trying to appease you, you can tell she knows you're getting angry. "And get them to reverse their decision?"  
"I pushed them as hard I could." You hear your voice waver and take a deep breath. The last thing you're going to do now is cry. "They wouldn't budge."  
"So you're going to walk away? You will just give up and doom the entire galaxy to extinction?" She's thinking about her mother, you can see it in her eyes, how she died trying to stop Saren. Stop the Reapers.  
"We're out of the game for now, but I'll find a way back in." You're saying this solely for her benefit, but as the words leave your mouth, you find yourself believing them. You won't let anyone else die.  
"I believe in you Shepard." She raises her head, looking into your eyes. "I am with you every step of the way." She extends her hand and you grasp it, allowing yourself to be pulled up off the floor and grabbing her shoulder for support.  
When you look up, you realise how close you're standing, and despite the tension in the air, and overwhelming feeling of something massive hanging over your heads, you smirk.  
A light smile mirrors your own and you feel her hands grasp at your waist. She's close. So close you can feel her breath wash over your face. Your head swims, and your heart pounds so hard you're sure she can hear it.  
You can't think, can't see anything but her, and for a moment it's absolutely perfect, until Joker blares across the speakers of the ship.  
"Sorry to interrupt Commander," Liara's head slumps forwards, forehead grazing yours as she chuckles lightly. "Got a message from Captain Anderson." You allow your forehead to rest against hers for a second before you pull back, angrily glaring at the speaker in the corner.  
"Are you spying on us, Joker?" You accuse.  
"No, Ma'am, just knew you were on the ship and figured I'd pass the message on." Liar. "The Captain said to meet him at Flux. That club down on the wards."  
You look at Liara, sighing softly, and she smiles at you, "you should probably go meet him."  
"I'm sorry" You tell her, rubbing at the back of your neck. "In my head, that was a lot more romantic"  
"It's okay." She laughs again, melodic, and you grin at her before heading in the opposite direction, shouting for Williams and Wrex to get their gear on.

As it turns out, the interruption was more than worth it. 20 minutes later the Normandy is heading on its way to Ilos, where Saren is hoping to find the Conduit. The good news is that the Normandy is far faster than Sovereign, and with its stealth drives on it's virtually undetectable. Saren will have no idea that they're coming.  
The bad news is that the flight will still take over 4 hours.  
The entire crew is going stir-crazy, and you'll have to throw Tali out the airlock if she keeps rambling on about some old Quarian tradition you don't understand, so you retire to your room.  
"Shepard, may I speak with you?" You turn to find Liara has followed you to your room, and is standing awkwardly in the door way.  
You nod and beckon her forward, watching as she enters the room. "I was just thinking about you."  
"I have been thinking about you too." She frowns slightly. "And… What we are about to face. I do not know what's going to happen on Ilos. I hope we're going to stop Saren, of course, but part of me fears we're already too late." She sighs. "There is something I must tell you… In case we fail."  
"We're not going to fail, I promise."  
"Please, I am not looking for comfort. Saren might already have the Conduit, it is time to be completely honest with each other." She steps forward, "These could be our last moments together." She runs a hand along your arm, the other coming up to rest comfortably on your waist. "Our last chance to show each other how we feel." She looks up at you. "I want this to be special."  
You bring your own hands up to rest around her neck, pulling her slightly closer. "I want this Liara, I do… But are you sure you're ready?"  
She nuzzles slightly into your neck and you shiver. "I have never been more sure of anything in my life." You feel your heart quicken as she mumbles "Will you join with me?" Against your skin. "Let our bodies and minds unite."  
"I thought you'd never ask." I whisper before bringing our lips together.  
You're not sure how you imagined kissing Liara would be, but it's definitely not what you expected. She's confident, forceful, and when she grazes her teeth against your lip in just the right way, you shudder. She quickly backs you up against your desk, lips moving down your throat as she reaches down to pull off your shirt.  
It happens fast, and you're not sure how, but you're lay down on your bed, watching as she strips off the last of her clothing and approaches you. Your breath hitches in your throat as you notice for the thousandth time just how beautiful she is. You take in the light dusting of freckles that lay across her shoulders, and the way her hipbones poke out in a way that makes you want to bite them, to mar her skin with your teeth. It's completely animal, something you've never felt before, and as she settles over you, her eyes turning pitch black, you feel her mind reach out for yours, touching and caressing and all you feel is absolute pleasure rippling throughout your body.

You're actually happy, when you head out on the Mako with Garrus and Tali. Half of you is disgruntled that you could even be happy at a time like this, but when you hit Ilos it's with the ghost of a smile on your face.

You find the Conduit, a secret back door into the Citadel, and the smile quickly fades, taken over by the task of saving the Citadel.  
Saren is too far gone, under the influence of Sovereign, but you talk to him anyway. Plead with him, tell him that this isn't how he should die, a shadow of himself, stuck under the Reapers command. He shoots himself, but not before thanking you for saving him. For the first time, you honestly believe that he had joined Sovereign for the greater good.  
As the ships outside open fire on the Reaper, the machine takes control of what's left of the turians body, desperately trying to get to the controls of the Citadel and close the arms. You stop it though, and the Alliance and the Citadel fleet stop the Reaper, sending it crashing through the roof of the Presidium.  
A huge chunk of the ceiling heads for you, of course, and briefly your life flashes in front of your eyes. You think of Liara, picture her smiling up at you, wrapped in your bedsheets and nothing else, and you pray to some form of higher power that you'll survive this.  
Which you do. You don't know how long it's been when you hear Garrus calling out your name. You've got a wicked headache, but you can move, and you slide yourself out of the rubble and begin to climb over the top.  
When you reach the peak of a huge slab of concrete and look over, you see your crew, standing below you and cheering. You're alive. You're all alive, and you did it. And when you lock eyes with Liara, whose eyes are shining and looking at you with nothing but adoration, your smile is wide enough to split your face in two.


End file.
